He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
