She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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