You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
