when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
