is your mom at the bar?
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
