what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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