Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
