He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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