Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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