K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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