CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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