oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Boobs are out for the taking
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I am one with the molecules
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
