Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
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