I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
two words: eviction party
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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