Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
