just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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