O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I believe in your delicious
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
