you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
