Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
