ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
