No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
