he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Randomize
