I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Randomize
