I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
