chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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