I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
worst night to have a conscience
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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