We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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