I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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