Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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