How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
