Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
