capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
