Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
i think my cat just said my name.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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