Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
