We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
