32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
