Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
