Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
