help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize