so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
