Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
