i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize