"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
