onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize