"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Bring me that man meat
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
