I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
