first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
