I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
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