I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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