She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
