Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
