There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
