I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
