On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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