a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
