Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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