Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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