I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
