at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
