What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
