Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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