i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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