I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
